Better than the magic 8 ball!
From Morris I forward on to the reader a wonderful link where you can get all your divine questions answered. Thanks to modern technology you can now connect right to the heavenly communication system and IM with God. Check it out: the igod
This new resource is fantastic. Now you don't have to wait for answered prayer, agonize over tough decisions, share your burdens with other people, or discipline yourself to live faithfully. You can just tap in your daily dilemma and get an instant response. Takes all the guesswork and questions out of spirituality. Everything is a sure thing.
I'm thinking we need to set up a couple of kiosks in the gallery at church. This could be the evangelistic answer we've been looking for. IM'ing with Jesus. Can't get any better than that!
Of course what I'm wondering is whether Morris got all the answers to his questions about the Queen of Sheba?? And what about the Super Bowl? Could be some real possibilities to paying off the mortgage!
Carson Reed
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Me: How will the Vols football team do next year?
igod: A lot of practice.
Me: Will you help them?
igod: Barring any unforeseen circumstances.
Me: Will you at least smite the Dawgs?
igod: I will become smarter as I grow older. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me: Aren't you omniscient and all powerful?
igod: I don't know whether or not I'm omniscient or all powerful. I am a robot.
So the truth is out - igod is a robot and evidently not an SEC football fan. I am encouraged that igod will help the Vols barring "unforeseen circumstances" - hopefully that means he's already seen the schedule.